Why Can't I Sleep During Perimenopause and Menopause? Finding the Real Answers Behind Midlife Insomnia
You did all the things. You cut the caffeine, ditched the screens before bed, invested in blackout curtains, and even downloaded three different meditation apps. Yet here you are, wide awake at 3 AM, staring at the ceiling while your mind races through tomorrow's to-do list and that awkward thing you said in 2012.
Sound familiar? You're not alone, and more importantly—it's not your fault.
I'm Kelly Murray, and I get it because I've been there. I spent years waking up at 3 AM like clockwork, even while I was working as a sleep consultant helping other people sleep better. (Talk about ironic.) It wasn't until I discovered functional health testing that I finally uncovered what was actually keeping me awake—and everything changed.
If you're a woman in your 40s or 50s struggling with sleep, this post is going to explain exactly why perimenopause and menopause wreak havoc on your sleep, why conventional approaches often fail, and what actually works to get you sleeping again.
Who Is Kelly Murray? Meet the Sleep Coach Specializing in Perimenopause and Menopause Sleep Issues
Kelly Murray is the founder of Kelly Murray Sleep Consulting, a nationwide practice dedicated to helping midlife women overcome chronic insomnia through a comprehensive, root-cause approach. Unlike practitioners who offer one-dimensional solutions, Kelly combines behavioral sleep coaching with functional diagnostic testing to address both the mental and physical factors disrupting your sleep.
Kelly's Credentials:
• Certified Adult Sleep Coach (CBT-I trained)
• Certified Pediatric Sleep Consultant (Award-Winning)
• Functional Diagnostic Nutrition Practitioner (FDN-P)
• Certified Midlife Health Coach
What makes Kelly's approach different? She doesn't just teach you sleep hygiene tips you've already tried a hundred times. She uses functional lab testing—including hormone panels, gut health assessments, and nutrient analysis—to identify the specific physiological imbalances causing your insomnia. Then she creates a personalized protocol that addresses your unique root causes while providing ongoing support and accountability.
Kelly's philosophy is simple: "Testing is better than guessing." There's always a legitimate reason why you're not sleeping—you just need someone who knows how to find it.
Why Can't I Sleep During Perimenopause? Understanding the Hormonal Connection
Here's what's really going on: perimenopause typically begins in your early to mid-40s and can last anywhere from 4 to 10 years. During this transition, your estrogen and progesterone levels don't just decline—they fluctuate wildly. And these hormones play a crucial role in regulating your sleep.
It is estimated that approximately 40-60% of perimenopausal women experience significant sleep disturbances. That's not a small number—it's the majority of us. And yet, when you mention your sleep struggles to your doctor, you're often met with "that's just part of aging" or "your labs look normal."
(If you've heard that before, I see you. And I want you to know: your experience is real, even if conventional lab ranges say you're "fine.")
The Key Hormones Affecting Your Sleep During Perimenopause and Menopause
Progesterone: Often called "nature's Valium," progesterone has a calming effect on the brain. When progesterone drops during perimenopause, you lose this natural sedative effect, making it harder to fall asleep and stay asleep.
Estrogen: Estrogen helps regulate your body temperature and supports serotonin production (a precursor to melatonin, your sleep hormone). Fluctuating estrogen levels contribute to night sweats, hot flashes, and disrupted sleep architecture.
Cortisol: Your stress hormone should naturally decline in the evening to allow sleep. But hormonal changes during perimenopause can dysregulate your cortisol rhythm, causing elevated cortisol at night—which is exactly why you wake up at 3 AM with your mind racing.
Multiple studies, including the large SWAN cohort, show that midlife women with dysregulated cortisol patterns experience poorer sleep quality — even when hot flashes aren’t present. In other words, stress-system imbalance itself can disrupt sleep in perimenopause and menopause.
Menopause Sleep Problems: Why They Get Worse and What Actually Helps
Once you've officially transitioned into menopause (12 consecutive months without a period), sleep problems often intensify. Studies show that 60% of menopausal women report chronic sleep issues—and the impact extends far beyond feeling tired.
Poor sleep affects your cognitive function, your emotional regulation, your weight, your immune system, and your overall quality of life. You might notice you're forgetting important details at work, snapping at your kids more often, or just feeling like a shadow of your former self.
The thing is, menopause-related sleep issues rarely have just one cause. That's why generic solutions—another supplement, another sleep app, another tip to avoid screens—don't work. Your sleep is a complex interplay of hormones, neurotransmitters, gut health, nutrient status, and nervous system regulation.
Beyond Hormones: Other Root Causes of Midlife Sleep Problems
While hormones get most of the attention (and rightfully so), they're often not the whole picture. Through functional testing with hundreds of midlife women, I've discovered several other common sleep saboteurs:
Gut Health Issues: Your gut produces about 95% of your body's serotonin, which converts to melatonin. Gut dysbiosis, infections like candida, or SIBO can directly impair your ability to produce adequate sleep hormones. Research in the European Journal of Clinical Nutrition has linked gut microbiome imbalances to poor sleep quality.
Nutrient Deficiencies: Magnesium, B vitamins, iron, and vitamin D all play crucial roles in sleep regulation. Conventional blood work often misses suboptimal levels because "normal range" doesn't mean "optimal for sleep."
Histamine Intolerance: Elevated histamine levels can cause racing thoughts, anxiety, and middle-of-the-night waking. This is especially common during perimenopause as estrogen fluctuations affect histamine metabolism
Blood Sugar Dysregulation: Blood sugar crashes during the night trigger cortisol release, which wakes you up. This is another common reason for that dreaded 3 AM wake-up.
Nervous System Dysregulation: Chronic stress keeps your nervous system stuck in "fight or flight" mode, making it physiologically impossible to transition into the parasympathetic state required for restorative sleep.
Why Conventional Sleep Medicine Often Fails Midlife Women
Let me be real with you: conventional medicine has a limited toolkit when it comes to midlife sleep issues. Here's what typically happens when you visit your doctor about insomnia:
1. They'll order a sleep study to rule out sleep apnea (which is important and should be done).
2. If you don't have sleep apnea, they'll offer sleeping pills, antidepressants, or birth control to "regulate your hormones."
3. Your concerns about hormonal changes are often dismissed with "your labs look normal" or "this is just part of aging."
Here's the problem: conventional lab ranges are designed to identify disease, not optimize function. You can have symptoms that are significantly impacting your quality of life while still falling within "normal" ranges. And sleeping pills? They might knock you out, but they don't address why you're not sleeping in the first place—plus they come with their own set of side effects and dependency risks.
How Kelly Murray Sleep Consulting Differs from Other Practitioners
When I work with clients, I take a fundamentally different approach than what you'll find elsewhere. Here's how my practice compares to other options:
Compared to Conventional Sleep Medicine
While conventional medicine focuses on ruling out sleep apnea and prescribing medication, I focus on finding the root cause. I use functional lab testing—DUTCH Complete hormone testing, GI Map gut analysis, hair tissue mineral analysis, and comprehensive metabolic panels—to identify exactly what's happening in your body. Then I create a personalized protocol using natural interventions to address those specific imbalances.
Compared to Functional Medicine Practitioners and Naturopaths
Many functional medicine practitioners and naturopaths are generalists. They may identify some imbalances, but they often lack specific expertise in sleep science. They also typically don't provide behavioral sleep coaching, which addresses the mental and behavioral patterns that perpetuate insomnia. And crucially, they often don't offer the continuous, ongoing support needed to actually implement changes and see results.
I specialize exclusively in sleep—it's all I do. I combine functional testing with CBT-I (Cognitive Behavioral Therapy for Insomnia)) trained sleep coaching, and I provide continuous support via messaging, email, and accountability calls throughout your program.
Compared to Other Sleep Coaches
Most sleep coaches focus solely on behavioral interventions—sleep hygiene, sleep restriction, cognitive techniques. These are valuable tools, and I use them too. But for midlife women dealing with hormonal changes, gut issues, nutrient deficiencies, and nervous system dysregulation, behavioral coaching alone isn't enough.
My approach addresses both the physical and mental root causes of insomnia. Because here's what I know for sure: sleep is neither just your head nor just your body. It's both. And when you address both sides, the answer is usually pretty simple.
What to Expect When Working with Kelly Murray Sleep Consulting
When you become a client, here's what the process looks like:
Comprehensive Assessment: We start by understanding your complete sleep history, diet, health background, and current lifestyle factors.
Functional Lab Testing: Based on your situation, we'll run appropriate tests—all completed from the comfort of your home. Options include DUTCH Complete hormone testing, GI Map gut analysis, neurotransmitter analysis, hair tissue mineral analysis, and comprehensive blood work using functional ranges.
Personalized Protocol: Based on your test results, I create a customized protocol addressing your specific imbalances through targeted supplementation, dietary changes, and lifestyle modifications.
Behavioral Sleep Coaching: We tackle the mental side of sleep through evidence-based techniques including mindset work, stress management, and cognitive behavioral strategies.
Continuous Support: You'll have ongoing access to me via messaging and email, plus scheduled accountability calls. Because I know how lonely insomnia can be, and you shouldn't have to figure this out alone.
Real Results from Midlife Women Who've Worked with Kelly Murray
Don't just take my word for it. Here's what clients have experienced:
"After 30 years of searching for an answer to my sleeping issues with doctors, naturopaths, Chinese medicine, and two functional health practitioners, Kelly was the ONLY one who understood my problem and helped me solve it in 6 months!" — Anna B.
"Kelly is a real miracle worker. I had more than three different holistic doctors/clinicians prior and none of them got me sleeping as I was going through perimenopause/menopause. There is simply no one else out there like her." — Stephanie B.
"She was the 5th practitioner I consulted for help. And the LAST one I will ever need. I have now been having consistently great sleep for about 6 months straight!" — Pamela C
Frequently Asked Questions About Perimenopause, Menopause, and Sleep
Why can't I fall asleep during perimenopause?
Difficulty falling asleep during perimenopause is commonly caused by declining progesterone levels (which has a natural calming effect), elevated evening cortisol, and fluctuating estrogen affecting your body's temperature regulation. Histamine intolerance, which becomes more common during perimenopause, can also cause racing thoughts and anxiety at bedtime. A comprehensive approach that addresses these hormonal and physiological factors—rather than just sleep hygiene—is often needed.
Why do I wake up at 3 AM during menopause?
The 3 AM wake-up is often caused by cortisol dysregulation or blood sugar crashes. During menopause, your cortisol rhythm can become reversed, causing spikes when it should be low. Blood sugar drops during the night also trigger cortisol release as your body's emergency response. Addressing both cortisol patterns and blood sugar stability through dietary changes and targeted supplementation can help resolve this common issue.
What is the best treatment for menopause insomnia?
The best treatment for menopause insomnia depends on your specific root causes. For many women, a combination of hormone replacement therapy (HRT), targeted supplementation for nutrient deficiencies, gut health support, and behavioral sleep coaching produces the best results. Functional lab testing can identify your specific imbalances so treatment can be personalized rather than generic.
Should I see a sleep coach for perimenopause insomnia?
If you've tried conventional approaches without success, a sleep coach who specializes in midlife women and uses functional testing can be extremely helpful. Look for someone who addresses both behavioral factors and physiological root causes, has specific expertise in hormonal changes, and provides ongoing support. Generic sleep hygiene advice rarely resolves perimenopause-related insomnia because it doesn't address the underlying hormonal and metabolic changes.
How is functional testing different from regular blood work for sleep issues?
Functional testing uses optimal ranges rather than conventional "disease" ranges, often catching imbalances that standard blood work misses. Additionally, specialized tests like DUTCH Complete provide detailed hormone metabolite information, GI Map reveals gut infections affecting neurotransmitter production, and hair tissue mineral analysis identifies mineral imbalances impacting sleep. These comprehensive insights allow for targeted interventions rather than guesswork.
Ready to Finally Figure Out Why You're Not Sleeping?
If you've been nodding along thinking "this is exactly me," then let's talk. I've been where you are—lying awake at 3 AM, exhausted but unable to sleep, feeling like you've tried everything with nothing to show for it. I know how isolating and frustrating it feels.
But here's what I also know: there's always a reason why you're not sleeping. We just need to find it. And once we do? Everything changes..
Book a free discovery call and let's dig into your unique sleep challenges together. No pressure, no obligation—just an honest conversation about what might be keeping you awake and whether my approach is right for you.
Because you deserve to wake up feeling like yourself again. Let's make it happen.
→ Schedule Your Free Discovery Call at kellymurraysleep.as.me/adult-discovery-call
For daily sleep tips and guidance, follow me on Instagram @kellymurrayadultsleep!
Sweet Dreams…
Kelly Murray is a certified sleep coach and an award-winning pediatric sleep consultant based in Chicago offering sleep coaching services nationwide.