By now, you’ve probably heard me talk about one of my favorite topics:
Sleep Animals
First, let’s review what a sleep animal — a Chronotype — is and the different kinds of Chronotypes there are:
Your sleep animal, better classified as your Chronotype, is a fun way to categorize the timing of your awake and sleep cycles, and it’s something that's genetically predetermined.
There are four main Chronotypes:
Lion
Lions are the folks who rule this world. They like to wake up early and go to bed early.
Bear
Bears make up the vast majority of us. Bears follow the sun. They typically wake up a little past sunrise and go to bed soon after sun sets.
Wolf
Wolves are the creative types that like to stay up late and sleep in.
Dolphin
Dolphins are often our insomniacs. They’re able to run on very little sleep, for better or for worse.
Knowing your Chronotype can help you determine how you go about your world — and your sex life.
Your sleep animal not only dictates when you want to go to bed and wake up for the day, but it also influences the timing of a wide range of activities from when you want to eat, exercise, work — and have sex.
So in honor of Valentine's Day right around the corner, I want to explore that last activity: when your body is primed to have sexual relations based on your circadian rhythm.
Challenging the social norms around sex using Chronotypes:
Let's think for a moment: When do most people have sex?
When it's convenient
When they're not working
When their partner is available
When they’re already in bed
It's typically somewhere between 10:00 PM and 1:00 AM. Unfortunately, this is not when we're primed for physical activity — let alone, sex!
That’s because during this time of night, the following is occurring:
Our blood pressure is lower
Our body's starting to produce melatonin (the sleepy hormone)
Our sleep pressure is high
Basically the only thing we're really in the mood for at that time is sleep.
There’s actually data to back this up — take a look:
A study inquired if people were actually in the mood when they had sex around the “normal time” between 10:00 PM and 1:00 AM. What they found is that only 26% of respondents answered that they were actually in the mood during the "prime sex time". The rest had sex just because it was convenient.
So, when is the best time to have sex?
Generally speaking, the best time is when our testosterone levels, as well as our cortisol levels (the alert hormone), are the highest. It’s also probably ideal to make sure that our sleep pressure is at its lowest, and usually that’s in the morning. This combination puts the ideal time to get it on — for most — in the morning.
However, if you are a wolf or dolphin, there are benefits to having sex in the evening. That’s because these Chronotypes typically have a hard time falling asleep and sexual activity promotes the production of oxytocin, the "feel good hormone". When our body produces oxytocin, it suppresses cortisol, allowing us to feel nice and relaxed.
The best time to have sex according to your Chronotype:
Lions + Bears
It’s best to have sex soon after you wake up because you're feeling well-rested. Your cortisol is starting to rise and, also, you're still in bed! So there's that convenience factor.
Lions: ideal timing is between 6:00 AM - 7:00 AM
Bears: ideal timing is between between 7:00 AM and 8:00 AM
Wolves + Dolphins
I recommend having sex in the evening because, as I discussed before, it's going to help you to relax and to get those “feel-good” hormones moving and suppress cortisol. But you want to make sure that you don't have intercourse too close to bedtime because it increases your body temperature, which can make it hard for you to fall asleep. Because of this, I recommend having sex a couple hours before you plan to hit the hay for the night.
Dolphins: ideal timing is between 8:00 PM - 9:00 PM
Wolves: ideal timing is between 10:30 PM - 11:30 PM
Get your groove thang on — and your sleep, too! — this Valentine’s Day.
I hope you found this information helpful and that it translates into more sex and more sleep for you and your partner. Happy Valentine's Day, sleep animals!
PS: If you’re not sure what your sleep animal is, check out Dr. Michael Breus’s The Power of When, where there’s a short quiz to help you identify your Chronotype.
Let’s get you tucked in.
Have questions about your sleep? Reach out to me! I know what it’s like to spend sleepless nights trying to figure out what the heck is going on, only to come up short time and time again. Sometimes, it takes speaking with a sleep coach to get to the root of the issue. Please schedule a complimentary virtual 30-minute discovery call with me to discuss working one-on-one.
For more tips, you can read more articles on improving your sleep in my sleep blog. I have a ton of great resources.
My mission is to help you get the rest you deserve to be your best.
Sweet Dreams
Kelly Murray is a certified sleep coach and an award-winning pediatric sleep consultant based in Chicago offering sleep coaching services nationwide.