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Today we're going to bring it back to basics and talk about something that is often overlooked when it comes to improving your sleep:
Your Bedtime Routine
Back in the day before I was a sleep consultant, I had a horrendous bedtime routine…
My night looked like this:
Work until about 10:00/11:00 PM
Pour myself a huge glass of wine
Plop in front of the television
Veg out to the Housewives (until I pretty much passed out from exhaustion)
Wake up 1½ hours later and drag myself off the couch
Quickly wash my face and brush my teeth
Hop into bed
No wonder why I was waking up at 3:00 AM and it took me hours to fall back to sleep—
Everything about my bedtime routine was wrong.
Designing the Bedtime Routine of Your Dreams
Listen. I don't want you to make the same mistakes. That’s why I’m going to tell you how to design a bedtime routine that's going to help to prepare your mind and body for the rest you need to feel your best.
1
Turn Down the Thermostat
Your bedtime should begin about 30-60 minutes before you want to fall asleep. The first thing I want you to do when that time hits is to turn down your thermostat.
The ideal sleeping temperature is somewhere between 60º to 67º F (so on average, around 65º F). Now, I know that sounds really cold — but our body is actually looking for that cue to know that it's nighttime and to start producing melatonin.
If you think about it, back in the caveman days, we slept outside where at night, it becomes dark and cool. As a result, our body experienced a reduction in thermal temperature (and we still do — by about 2º F) in order to cue the body that it’s nighttime and to start the production of melatonin. These days, a really easy way to cue your body to do this is to just knock that thermostat down a few degrees.
2
Turn Off Screens At Least 1 Hour Before Bedtime
If you're one of those people who needs to watch television, surf the net, or scroll Instagram a bit before you fall asleep, I'm not going to tell you not to do that — I just want to make sure that you're not doing it within an hour of your bedtime.
The reason why is because the blue light from your screens is going to tell your brain that it's daytime and your brain is going to produce cortisol, the alert hormone, instead of melatonin.
Now, I know I've explained this a thousand times before in past vlogs and blogs, so I'm not going to get into a lot of detail. (You can check out this blog I wrote about blue blockers to learn a little bit more about how our circadian rhythm works.) But the point is, if that’s something you need to do, then like I said — I get it. I used to be that person. (OK, I still am. I still like to watch television before I go to bed.)
So if you are going to watch television or be on a screen at all, make sure you turn it off about 60 minutes before bed and wear blue blockers. And not just any old blue blockers — you want to wear blockers that block about 95% or more of the blue light. They should have red or amber lenses. Here is an example: “Stig” blue blocking glasses by Stockholm Squared. (Bonus: use code KELLY25 to save 25% off your order when you buy your blue blockers from Stockholm Squared.)
3
Dim ALL the Lights
We've established we want to avoid blue light, but I want you to take it a step further. Try to minimize as much light exposure an hour before bedtime as possible.
Again, think about it: back in the caveman days, we were sleeping outdoors and there was no light at all at night. Our bodies are looking for that absence of light at night to signal that it’s nighttime and produce melatonin. So be really cognizant when it comes to the lights around your house.
Make sure you’re dimming all the lights. Try to use lamps instead of overhead lights because overhead lights trick your body into thinking into high noon (the sun is high in the sky and shining directly upon you at noon!) So try to use table lamps instead — especially when you enter your bathroom.
Also, keep in mind how bright your bathroom is! We want the bathroom bright during the day while we’re getting ready, but not at night. So try using a candle instead when you’re doing the hygiene portion of your bedtime routine. Or, another trick is to keep the lights off in your bathroom and just turn the hall light on. You’d be surprised how much you can get done with very little light, and it’s going to make a huge impact when it comes to your sleep.
A recent study showed that when children were exposed to just a dim light before bedtime, their melatonin was suppressed by 90%. Granted, the impact is likely not as strong in adults, but chances are that nighttime light exposure has a similar effect on us. So why not give your body all of the advantages possible and make sure that when you’re getting ready for bed, those lights are low. Better yet, try using a candle.
4
Take a Warm Bath or Shower
A good way to start your bedtime routine is to take a warm bath or shower. The warm water will heat up your body while you’re in it, but as soon as you get out, your core body temperature is going to lower as your blood rushes to the surface of the skin. This effect is going to help with the thermal cooling needed to trigger melatonin.
Better yet, if you are going to take a bath, throw in some Epsom salt. Epsom salt contains magnesium, a mineral that most of us aren’t getting enough of. Research shows that 75% of us aren't meeting the daily recommended amount of magnesium, and although you might be taking a magnesium supplement (I know a lot of people with sleep issues are), magnesium is actually best absorbed through the skin. An Epsom salt bath is an effective way to help to fill that magnesium void. Magnesium is essential for the relaxation of your brain and body. (Read my blog post here to read more about how magnesium plays a role in our sleep.)
My current favorite Epsom salt soak is the Soothe & Sleep with Lavender Epsom Salt Soaking Solution by Dr. Teals. It’s Epsom salt, melatonin and lavender. I absolutely love it and it smells amazing.
After you're out of your bath, it's time for your hygiene. Brush your teeth, wash your face, and put on your lotions. When it comes to your skincare, I recommend looking for skincare products that help to induce a sleepy feeling. Those are going to be products containing essential oils and scents such as lavender, chamomile, or any woodsy scent, as those scents have been proven in studies to help to elicit a feeling of rest and relaxation and calmness.
5
Get Choosy About Your Pajamas
The next step is to put on your PJs. When it comes to what you wear to bed, I recommend choosing pajamas that are made of natural fibers, such as linen, organic cotton or tencel.
These materials are breathable and also wick moisture, which is going to help you to maintain that cooler body temperature and prevent those nasty night sweats.
My favorite pajamas are made by JJ Winks. They're so comfortable and most of them are made of either organic cotton or tencel. The thing I really like about them is they have a lot of sleeveless options. If you're perimenopausal like I am and are prone to night sweats, then sleeveless pajamas are key because you can throw your arms outside of your covers in the middle of the night and help to cool yourself down.
6
Cleanse the Air
Now let's talk about creating a sleep environment that's going to put you in the mood for rest and relaxation. (I promise you, I'm not gonna talk to you anymore about lights. By now you probably get it — you wanna keep the lights low and avoid your screen, so make sure you're doing that.) But a couple other things that you can do to create a sleepy mood are to burn some calming essential oils (like the ones I talked about earlier) in a diffuser.
You can also turn an air purifier. I've been using an air purifier lately by Fiwotttda Air and I absolutely love it. (Use this link to save $35 on your Fiwotttda Air purifier.) Usually this time of year, I have issues with my allergies. A lot of times I'll wake up in the morning with a migraine just because of all the pollen in the air and since I've been using this HEPA filter air purifier, I have not woken up once with a headache. I'm not sure if there's a connection, but you better believe I'm going to continue to run it nightly! In fact, there's actually a lot of research to show that clean air equals good sleep.
One peer review study showed that 93% of participants who were using a HEPA air purifier at night found that they slept better and longer. This is, of course, because air purifiers help to remove allergens in our environment, such as pet dander, dust mites, mold. All of these things can cause sleep-disrupting symptoms, such as coughing, stuffy nose, and sneezing. The National Sleep Foundation estimates up to 50% of Americans suffer from allergy symptoms that can keep them awake at night.
7
When It’s Time to Relax, Indulge;
If You Can’t, Don’t Just Lie There
Now that you've set the mood for sleep, it is time for the fun part: time to relax.
If you don't already have one, I recommend getting a nice comfy chair for your room for this portion of your bedtime routine. The reason why I recommend relaxing in the bedroom is because you really don’t want to risk over-stimulating yourself or falling asleep in another part of the house, because as soon as you wake up, you're going to feel energized and it's going to be hard for you to fall asleep. And when you do start to get sleepy, you want to be really close to your bed so you can just hop into bed.
I recommend waiting until you feel that really sleepy feeling come over you before you even get into bed. The reason why is because, if you get into bed too soon and you have a hard time falling asleep, then you're going start stressing out and your body's going to turn on the fight or flight autonomic nervous system, causing your body to start producing cortisol (the alert hormone). That's the last thing we want when we're winding down to go to bed!
So get yourself a comfy chair, sit in your chair, and do something relaxing. It can be really helpful to do something that we know has been proven to put you in a state of rest and digest. Two activities that have been proven by research to do just that are 1) deep breathing and 2) meditation.
Currently, I am addicted to an app called Breathwrk, which has a lot of quick breathing exercises designed specifically for sleep. I highly recommend checking it out!
Once you've done something to decompress, I recommend just relaxing by either reading a book (if you use an e-reader, be sure to use a Paperwhite Kindle so you don't get that blue light exposure), listen to a podcast, talk to your partner, or you can just sit there and relax. Once you feel like sleep is knocking on your shoulder, that's the time you want to jump into bed.
When you’ve made it to bed, take a moment to just enjoy the comforts of your bed. Feel your sheets, feel your mattress and your pillow and tell yourself how much you love sleep. You could do a couple more deep breaths and then think about something that went well during your day, something that you want to dream about, or a recent vacation or memory that just gives you those nice cozy feelings. Hopefully then, you should be prepared to drift off to sleep pretty quickly. If you don't, that's when you're going to want to do the “Don’t Just Lie There” exercise.
I am going to record a vlog on this practice, so stay tuned for that. But in the meantime, if you're not already signed up for my newsletter, sign up here and you will get my guide to “Don’t Just Lie There”.
I hope that these tips on how to craft a relaxing, peaceful, and sleep-inducing bedtime routine help you to get the sleep you need to feel and be your best.
Let’s get you tucked in.
Need help creating a bedtime routine for yourself? Maybe you need someone to coach you through the process from start to finish, or just hold you accountable. I’m in your corner. Set up a call with me and let’s talk about how we can get you back to sleep→
For more tips, you can read more articles on improving your sleep in my sleep blog. I have a ton of great resources.
My mission is to help you get the rest you deserve to be your best.
Sweet Dreams
Kelly Murray is a certified sleep coach and an award-winning pediatric sleep consultant based in Chicago offering sleep coaching services nationwide.